it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
