btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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