She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
