Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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