This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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