I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
