ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
