You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
