We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
