your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
