is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
