I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
