So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
