I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
