If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
