I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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