do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
