I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
