Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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