Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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