Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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