wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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