Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
