sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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