she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
its not stalking. its research.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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