Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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