He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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