maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
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I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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