im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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