I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My vagina is officially offended.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
