I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
