So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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