Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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