I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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