there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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