Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
