i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We're too hungover to prance.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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