my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
