Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
