all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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