apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
