And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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