my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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