margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
