the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
