watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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