I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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