Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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