Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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