3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
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she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
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And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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