I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
