BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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