dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
