Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im holly from the hills drunk
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
