no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
