Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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