Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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