Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
