Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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