When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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