But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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