Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
