she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
