I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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