Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
