i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
